I've got enough friends thank you.

What is it about Christmas that everyone I work with wants to be my friend?

I work in an in house IT Support department so spend my day apologising to people (and I use the term people in the broadest possible sense) for things they've done through a combination of stupidity, impatience and arrogance. I'm sure they highly skilled individuals but put them in front of a piece of technology and they have intellect of a lobotomized ape.

Now it's Christmas though and everyone wants to be everyone's friend. I don't hang out with these people for 50 weeks of the year, why now do they all want to be my friends? I've got nothing against them personally (well not all of them) but all we've got in common is we're trapped in the same god forsaken building for 37 hours a week. During the week I'm paid to listen to them drone on but why would I want to spend my free time with them?

Incidentally I know you've already thought it but, yes I have got friends and yes they are real.

The other criticism I get is 'why do you hate Christmas?' I don't, I love Christmas, the presents, the excessive eating and drinking, the crappy television, not being at work. It's just I don't want to spend it with the same people who spend their working day making my life more difficult than it needs to be.

There is truly only one good thing about the Christmas period at work, when I explain to people that I don't want to take part in the staff drinks/meal/party/pantomime (yes they're really writing a pantomime) is the hurt look they get, like you've just told them they're parents left them on the doorstep of an orphanage not because they couldn't look after them but just because they couldn't be arsed.

Stop! It's the Police!

A moment of (I think) weirdness. This afternoon I got stopped by the police whilst walking home from taking the dog for a walk in the local woods. They were on a "High Visibility Anti-Burglary Patrol" and asked what I was doing (duh) and where I was going. They then asked me for some ID and this is where it got a bit weird because I had none. The policeman seemed quite confused and even explained to me "most people have got some form of ID on them."

Now I've got no problem with the Police, I don't even mind the occasional random stop if it makes some little scrote think twice about pinching my car or breaking into my house. But do people really carry their passport and driving licence when they take the dog for a walk? Maybe they do and I'm the weird one.

Anyway, I pointed out I had been walking a dog round a wood and they seemed sufficiently happy to take note of my name,address, date of birth and how long I'd lived there and that's it, the end of my drama for the day.

Although...........right now some super computer at MI6 has probably flagged this post and just because you're reading it alarm bells are ringing and your details are being transferred to a database of potential 'unidentifiable dog walkers'............. or maybe not*.

Phil

*or maybe!

First Post

Oh well, welcome to my blog. If you've found this you either know me (lucky old you) or you really need to get out more. I've no idea what drivel I'm going to post in here or how regularly I'm going to update it. I intend to post regularly but intentions have a nasty habit of being just that and never getting beyond being an intention and actually becoming a...erm....thing.

If I had to guess now likely topics are going to be moaning about work ( I work in IT support), bitching about drivers (I cycle to work everyday), complaining about DIY (I'm refurbing a house) and Whingeing about everything else.

Except bikes, I love bikes, specifically mountain bikes. I've been riding for about 18 years now and thanks to bikes I know a fantastic bunch of people (pretty well everyone I know rides), I've been all over this country and a couple of places beyond, I'm fitter than people half my age and I've had the perfect excuse to waste money on shiny things (and the associated tools) that will allegedly make me go faster. But the main reason I love bikes is no matter how bad a day I've had or how stressed out I am, I know all I have to do is throw a leg over my bike and instantly my problems fade away. I stop thinking about a million and one things and all that matters is the next six feet of trail rushing towards me.

Thanks for reading this far and if you do comment be gentle with me.

Phil